How to Make Your Second Baby Feel Special

by Charise Rohm Nulsen

Thank you to Maria of Life, Loss and Other Things Worth Mentioning for this very relevant guest post as I babymoon with my second child!

When a mother has her first baby, there is something irreplaceable about those quiet days spent napping, nursing, and tiptoeing around the house silently sweeping, baking, and preparing dinner.  When baby #2 enters the world, life is completely different.  There are bottoms to wipe, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to throw together, and puddles of spilled milk to mop up. And naps?  What are naps?  It is just part of motherhood.  Adding to the brood means different relationships, but each one is very special.  As a second child, I am very aware of how busy my mother was when I crashed the party. In the boxes of old photos, finding one of me is a real chore.  Asking about my milestones is almost always returned with information about my older brother with a quick statement that I was probably similar.  There are a few things that you can do to make sure that your second blessing grows up knowing that they are just as special as your first.

1. Get to know your baby.  Even though the baby is content to lounge around for the first 6 months of their life, take time to lounge with him/her.  Schedule time each week that is for you to just be with baby when there won’t be any interruptions.  This can be a great time for your husband to have one on one time with your older child.  That way where there is a tragic accident involving watercolors and a goldfish you can snuggle in closer and enjoy the new baby scent.

camera2. Take pictures and make videos.  It is so easy to chase around your first like they are a supermodel snapping 135 pictures of them grinning when you blow raspberries.  When you are trying to mix up a tasty snack to send to the preschool, changing a diaper, and cleaning up the floors that can’t seem to stay clean longer than 37 seconds, the camera seems much too far away.  The dirty floors can wait since those precious smiles and first giggles won’t. 

3. Have a baby book.  Buying or making a baby book to note all of your baby’s milestones was fun the first time.  It is essential for the second child.  The first steps, first words, and first funny comments will be just as exciting but even tougher to recall.  They will inevitably happen while you are making a meatloaf to feed 4 hungry mouths, and are explaining to your older child why it is inappropriate to take food into the bathroom- even if he is going to be in there a while.

I’m sure you remember how fast those first years passed with your first baby.  It will pass twice as fast this time around.  By doing these things, you will ensure that your second addition feels like the most important second child ever!  Congrats on your new addition! 

Maria and her husband are trying for baby #3 through the highs and lows of infertility and recurrent miscarriages.  Through this journey, she has found blogging to be a wonderful outlet which has led to a fantastic community of women who are supportive, knowledgeable, and willing to offer a shoulder when times are tough.  Stop by her sites Life, Loss and Other Things Worth Mentioning and TTC Community and say hello.  She always enjoys meeting new people and supporting women who are starting or growing their family!

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Brooke August 20, 2012 at 12:48 pm

This is a great reminder to do those. I know with my first I made tons of baby books and took hundred of pictures and videos and I just don’t take as many as I used to, I will have to do more of that.
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2 Rhianna @ The Other Baby Book August 20, 2012 at 9:23 pm

This is such a timely post for me, and it gives me some good food for thought in the coming months. We’re expecting our second baby in Feb 2013. Our first is currently 20mo, and he was conceived after a long struggle with IF and via IVF/ICSI. Everything about that pregnancy was so meaningful to me because of the struggle to get there; it felt acutely like a luxury. This second baby is one of those urban legend pregnancies in the infertility world–a total suprise, no treatments, no hand-wringing, no massive depleting of savings–and I can’t tell if my feelings about this pregnancy are different because that’s simply the nature of having a second pregnancy, or if it’s the result of not having to go through treatments (and the guilt that comes with that, too). Don’t get me wrong– I am overjoyed, but it’s definitely different. Thanks for sharing!
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3 Kata@fogbeültetés implantáció August 22, 2012 at 4:29 am

Having a baby book is such a great idea! When my second child was born, it was a miracle as well, but not in the same way as it was for the first time. I didn’t need to discover the new things anymore, I already have got some experiences, but adversities can happen, you never can feel prepared for everything…


4 Dionna @ Code Name: Mama August 23, 2012 at 9:00 am

Excellent reminders – we definitely notice that Ailia is not as represented on our Flickr stream as Kieran was. We’re trying to remedy that, but it does seem much harder to tote around the camera with everything else that comes with 2 kids!
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