10 things I am glad I did NOT know before becoming a mother

by Charise Rohm Nulsen

During pregnancy, experienced mothers cannot help but share their pearls of mommy wisdom. Soon to be first time moms soak up this information hoping that the right bits of advice will flood their brain when they need it most. No matter how much advice and encouragement you are given, every mama always has lists about things they wish they knew before becoming a mother. Well, I am turning that idea upside down and creating a list of things I am glad I did NOT know before becoming a mother!
1.   I am glad that I honestly could not comprehend how much I would love my daughter. It is just that much more beautiful to wake up every morning and love her more. If I had felt that sort of love in advance or even been able to comprehend the scope of the love I have, it would not be as awe inspiring to feel love of that magnitude.
2.   I am glad that I did not know that at times, I would strongly dislike my husband for his lack of parental enthusiasm. Dads are different than moms. Fathers cannot mother. It’s just how it is. It seems like there is a period of time between 0-18 months where fathers disconnect for a while. I have seen it happen to all of my friends. It’s like fathers just lose interest…the novelty of the new baby wears off and reality sets in. And they zone out. Toddlerhood seems to reignite their passion for fatherhood…thank goodness! (I am clearly making a generalization here based on my experience and observations. I am sure there are many dads who do not fit this description).
3.   I am glad that I did not know that being covered in some sort of bodily fluid from my child would be a multi-daily occurrence.
4.   I am glad that I did not know that being covered in above mentioned bodily fluids would actually not bother me. It is par for the mothering course.
5.   I am glad that I did not know that mama guilt takes a strong, strong hold and won’t let go sometimes. Had you asked me about mama guilt while I was pregnant, I would have laughed and reminded you that I am not a person who feels guilty. Touché!
6.   I am glad that I really did not comprehend how FAST time passes when you are a parent. Every parent tells you this. You cannot understand this completely until you hold your newborn in your arms one day and blink and suddenly have a squirmy toddler in your lap.
7.   I am glad that I did not know how much parenting breaks your heart…in so many ways. My daughter hurts herself, I hurt. My daughter is sick, I just want to kiss away all that ails her. My daughter is sad, my heart gets blue. My daughter grows and develops and I miss that little baby I held for the first time.
8.   I am glad that I did not know that I would become just like my very own mother. Now, this is NOT a bad thing. This is a good thing because my mother is amazing. However, as a daughter, you swear you will never become your mother. Ha!
9.   I am glad that I did not know the extent of the sacrifices I would have to make in order to be the kind of mother that I am. I KNEW that there would be sacrifices but I just did not understand how major some of these would be. I may have thought twice about being a parent, which would have been the worst decision on the planet.
10.  I am glad that I did not know how much joy being my daughter’s mama would bring me. Again, it is such an amazing feeling to experience life through my daughter’s perspective and I do not think I would have wanted to really understand this in advance. I am seeing things, hearing things, tasting things, smelling things, and experiencing things that I had long since forgotten about. My little love has provided me with a new lease on life. She has allowed me to unfold as a whole person. I love loosing myself in my daughter’s world of dirt, scraps of paper, chirping birds, garbage trucks, the discarded portions of vegetables, crumbs under the table, and the simplest of playthings.
Motherhood is beautiful. Mothering is a blessing. Being a mother is the most important thing I will do in life. Thank God my daughter decided on me as her mother. I cannot, even for a second, remember life without her. Nor do I want to.

About Hybrid Rasta Mama

Jennifer, author of Hybrid Rasta Mama, is a former government recruiter turned stay-at-home mama to a precious daughter (“Tiny”) brought earthside in early 2009. She is passionate about conscious parenting, natural living, holistic health/wellness, real foods, and a Waldorf inspired approach to education. Jennifer is committed to breastfeeding (especially extended breastfeeding), bed-sharing, cloth diapering, green living, babywearing, peaceful parenting, playful parenting, and getting children outside. She is a hybrid parent, taking a little of this, throwing in a little of that, and blending it all together to create a parenting style that is centered on what her daughter needs in order to flourish as a human being. Jennifer also lives and breathes reggae music, the Rastafarian culture and way of life. Reggae music and its message touches her soul.
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