The Thought of You – My Journey to Motherhood

by Charise Rohm Nulsen

Welcome to the IF We Believe! Blog Carnival!
In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week!

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly IF We Believe! Blog Carnival
hosted by Arpita of Up, Down & Natural.
Scroll to the bottom of this post for a list of other wonderfully brave mama’s
who

participate in this Carnival, and share their stories of infertility!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The thought of you –
Whether it was rose colored glasses or the scathing blinders of youth, I once felt entitled to your birth and life. I believed you would appear when I was ready for you.

The thought of you –
Alternating between inflamed thoughts of envy and crushing sadness, I lingered in the plush confines of limbo as I waited for my life to ready itself for your possibility.

The thought of you –
The bloom of excitement and unbridled anticipation rushed through me as we were finally ready for you.

The thought of you –
Obsession over lacking scarlet lines on tiny strips of paper. I gave ridiculous power to those flimsy pregnancy tests as I begged them to show dual rosy blooms.

The thought of you –
The hot blaze of loss simmers in our souls as we mourn, attempting to ignore the tease of what we believed was your impending arrival.

The thought of you –
The pale embers of recovery fight to keep you close, possible.

The thought of you –
The flush of cautious excitement as we bear witness to the seemingly elusive double crimson lines.

The thought of you –
Your heart beats strong and true within me. You are near and thriving and so, so real.

The thought of you –
Stunning beauty and rush of love! You are with us.

The thought of you –
and the feel of you, and my hopes for you, and my adoration for you –
burn bright, coloring my life with miracle.

This post was inspired by The Red Dress Club’s writing prompt borrowed from Natalie Goldberg: “Give me a memory of the color red. Do not write the word ‘red’ but use words that engender the color red when you hear them. For example: a ruby, a tomato, fire, blood.”

 

Visit Up, Down & Natural to find out how you can participate in the next IF We Believe! Blog Carnival.  Please take time to read the submissions by the wonderful carnival participants who so bravely write about their paths to motherhood, or how infertility has touched them.

You said WHAT?!

            Arpita @ Up, Down & Natural lists the 10 things you should NEVER say to someone Trying to Conceive – AND what to say if someone says one of these hurtful, inconsiderate and downright rude things to you! 

The Thought of You – My Journey to Motherhood

            Charise @ I Thought I Knew Mama shares her journey to motherhood from her very first thoughts of baby through his arrival.   

Like Gets Like

            Arpita @ Up, Down & Natural writes about ancient traditions of different cultures which support the theory that spending time with new borns may increase your own fertility.  Hormones are a funny thing! 

After Rock Bottom

            Kat @ Loving {Almost} Every Moment ~ When you hit rock bottom, you sometimes find the peace and strength you’ve been lacking…

EAV Acupncture and Moxa for Fertility

            Arpita @ Up, Down & Natural writes of and reviews treatments you can add to your acupuncture for fertility to enhance the effectiveness and overall sensations. 

A Skeptic’s Guide to Acupuncture

            Dionna (aka Code Name: Mama) guest posting at Natural Parents Network ~ Curious about acupuncture for fertility, but skeptical of the practice? Read some simple tips from a fellow skeptic – Dionna (of Code Name: Mama) guest posts at Natural Parents Network.

Easter & The Elusive Egg

            Arpita @ Up, Down & Natural shares the story of the origin of Easter!  Fertility is the reason for the season! 

Me and My Infertility

            Team Baby CEO @ Go Team Baby!  Describes how infertility challenges you, but strengthens you by requiring at all times that you be the advocate for making your dreams happen, one treatment at a time.

My Inner Granola

            Granola Girl @ My Inner Granola writes of her journey to natural conception and healthy living.

National Infertility Awareness Week: A Guest Post – Maria’s Journey

            Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama hosts a guest post ~ Maria of Life, Loss, and Other Things Worth Mentioning shares a beautiful post detailing her heartbreaking journey through infertility on I Thought I Knew Mama’s blog.

Be sure to read all the wonderful Guest Posts on Up, Down & Natural on April 30th of the stories of families who have been touched by infertility.

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